FAO: The UK Passport (renewal) Office LIVERPOOL!
My dear friends,
Thank you for another day of complete and utter wastage of my valuable time in talking to you to discover what is the current situation with the renewal of my UK passport. One month in, countless conversations and e-mails have been swapped but we still do not seem to be able to get to a point where you kindly dispatch the entitled passport to little old me.
However, I think I have discovered the problem! It’s either that I have lived outside of the UK now for eleven years and picked up a slight Turkish twang to my voice or I have kept my “awreet me ‘andsome” Somerset yokelisms and you can’t quite grasp what I am saying with your Scouse ears. So, to help you I will write it in a language you may understand using reference points from your “Fab Four” - John, Paul George and the little troll looking one at the back! So,
“Hey Jude” or “Michelle” or shall I just say “Woman” . Let me explain my situation I just want a “ticket to ride” and “Get back to where I once belong”. I am not looking to start a “Revoluton” and not wanting to go “Back in the U.S.S.R”. I am not even a “Day Tripper” and don’t even want to take a “Ferry across the Mersey”… all I want to do is go home because “with a little help from my friends” I am attending a school reunion!
You see “when I was young, so much younger than today” I sent my passport away to you to be renewed. Now it seems we are on a “Long winding road” of phone calls and e-mails ! I apologies but that I had to “shout” to you today but as you have already popped down to “Penny Lane” and extracted 200 pounds from my bank account. I felt in “Misery” Fine you are right up in Scouse land “money can"t but you love”, can’t buy me a bloody passport either it seems!. So “please please me” and dispatch my passport or will I have to wait “when I am sixty four”! At the moment it feels this little saga has been going on “eight days a week”!
Bloody hell,Talk about “You’ll never walk alone” I am like that dodgy Ex-wife or your Sir Paul McCartney – i.e, Not a leg to stand on! Talking of wife's, “do you want to know a secret?” , well my wife is so full of “misery” over it “she’s leaving home” ! “Yesterday” I had to shout out the window “baby come back”! as “saw her standing there”! “All you need is love” huh? A renewed UK Passport wouldn’t go a friggin miss either!
So, “Help” me if you can I am feeling down!. “It’s all too much” just give me my bloody passport and “I’ll be on my way” if you don’t then “I’ll be back” . In the meanwhile I will just say every morning “Please Mr Postman” is there anything from the UK Passport office today” - “That will be the day”!
So, “Let it be” and let’s “come together” and “give peace a chance”
“all my loving”
Michael West
“P.S I love you”
Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteMine was due for renewal during that brief time when you had to send forms, etc to Dusseldorf. I didn't trust the system so renewed mine in London on a trip there. Bit more expensive but at least I got it in 4 hours.
I was the dame, ten years ago Ayak. Went to London and recieved my passport will little or no questions asked in a few hours! Which just makes this ongoing drama even more painful!
ReplyDeleteWe have to renew my husband's passport this year - not looking forward to it.
ReplyDeleteIt is a nightmare Annie - take a tip, even though they do not ask for it include a COLOUR photo copy of your husband's kimlik!
ReplyDeleteWhy do they need Turkish kimlik when it's his British passport he's renewing?
ReplyDeleteI got mine back from Liverpool last week, but oh, the hassle of colour photocopies and translated letters to prove your address. Apart from the fact that if you don't have a colour printer the form is illegible - who on earth thought of beige forms to fill in? And you are right about the money, my credıt card told me that my passport had arrived in their offices before the kargo tracking system did. Hope you hit lucky anyway.
ReplyDeleteThanks Vicky - They are just incredible. Nowhere on the form does it state "send prove of address". I rang them and was told me e-mail a scanned colour copy of my kimlik. Only a week later to realise that THEY had given me the wrong e-mail address. Try again - nope again wrong e-mail!. It just seems to go on and on and YEP so damm quick to extract money!
ReplyDeleteAnnie - they need prove of ID apparently!. Although nowhere on the form does it say that!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDelete:)...I didn't even bother looking on the website Vicky Just downloaded the forum, filled it in and sent it off. Still they have only asked me for a photo copy of my kimlik. I really hope they don't ask for anything else!
ReplyDeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteI am an Assistant Producer for a TV production company in London called Leopard Films. I was wondering if we could have a chat about a series that I am currently working on?
My email is elliewinstanley@leopardfilms.com
and phone is 0044 207 704 3300 (extension 368)
Looking forward to hearing from you,
Ellie